Age of Reason

An occasional recording of anonymous senior moments from vet members continued from the October 1992 to June 2003 Newsletters

JT 09.08.11

After the Beachy Head Marathon, cautious club MV50 said: “I’m not going for a swim in the pool because last year I got rigor mortis!”

Sheep to club MV60 on Christmas morning run: “Baa-aah” to which the club MV60 replied: “Baa-aah – humbug!”

Club MV45 chatting on Sunday training run: “When I go for it at training on Tuesdays, I get a pain in the bone at the bottom of my leg.”

Alarmed lady runner entered in the New Year’s Eve 10k asked an MV45 member to amend her name on the entrant’s list from “Jusi” to “Judi.”

Club MV45 to club MV55 on winter training run which was warmer than expected: “Glad I wore my shorts.”  MV55: “You’d have been cold without them!”

Courier delivering parcel to house number address of club member who had that day become an MV60: “Are you 22?” to which the confused MV60 replied: “No – 60!”

Club MV 45 sitting over air jet in the jacuzzi at the Next Generation Club noticed his voluminous trunks had ballooned, so he turned it off. Adjacent elderly lady: “You’ll have to wait for it to start again” to which the MV45 replied: “I’ve got enough in here to last until then!”

Club MV60 just before start of Frostbite race at Bushfield: “My shorts are on the wrong way round – I shall have to run backwards!”

At start of race, club MV55 to club MV60 with left shoe on right foot etc: “Your feet look a bit odd ..… gosh, your shoes on the wrong feet!”

When a kindly club MV60 was seen racing in his normal walking shoes he explained that it was because he’d lent his running shoes to someone else who’d forgotten theirs.

Club MV50 to anyone listening during training: “Me GPS has packed up.” MV60 “Probably worn it out!” MV50: “might be cos I’ve dropped it 2 or 3 times …...!”

Email (with typing error) from club MV60 to TTR race memento supplier: “We've increased the race limit to 75 teams = 450 runners so the 500 mouse mates (50 to spare for marshals etc) should still be OK.”

Club MV45 to new (and somewhat alarmed) lady member enquiring about wearing club shorts in a race: “If you don’t want to wear shorts, you can wear tights!”

Club MV55 introducing a long-standing lady member who had returned to training: “………….. is one of our oldest members.”

Woman in building society helping club MV60 to complete a form: “Do you have a partner?” MV60: “No, I’m a sole trader”.

Club MV50 on seeing a group of women members approaching on training run: “Good to see them running with each other ….. I often see double women running when I drive into training!”

Club MV50’s wife was not amused when he took the dog for a walk and ran in the London Marathon before returning home ….. and what did he do with the dog?

Bouncy young woman in the 2007 London Marathon singing to herself as she passed a weary club MV60: “I believe in miracles….”

Club FV40 after heavy shower on training run: “my bra’s full of water.”

Club MV60, on receipt of two sample carbo sachets from sports drink demo lady: “Shame my dog’s dead, I could have tested one on him!”

Club MV70 discussing ‘phone costs: “I do mine at a fixed rate through the Co-op and only pay 1p a call. ” Nearby club MV60: “no wonder we hardly ever hear from you!”

Club MV60 was recently reminded that when he was an MV35 he plucked some aromatic lavender and gave it to a colleague with the comment: “For your mother to put in her draws!”

Email from club MV55 to club MV60: “By the way, my leg is perfectly OK - as long I don't do any running at all!”

Informed club MV50 to club SM after a few drinks in a pub: “Guinness has got less calories in it than lager….”

Lamenting club MV60 to club SM in trendy pub: “They didn’t have any Mackeson.” Club SM: “Thought it went out in the ‘70s but I expect the Prince Albert keep a supply in reserve!”

Pedantic club MV50 after XC race: “that bloke in front of me after the start was still the same 20 metres … I mean 20 yards … in front of me at the finish!”

Chirpy lady dentist to melancholic club MV60 who’d broken a tooth: “Did the tooth fairy come to your bed to collect it?” MV60: “ I don’t think it was a fairy! 

Optimistic club MV50 on a ‘high’ after a Sunday race: “it’s a nice afternoon for a walk on the river!”

Club FV35 after cross-country race: “I’m going to jump into the bath when I get home.” Curious club MV60: “have you got a springboard?”

Shortly before the club AGM, a stressed club MV60 committee member found himself trying to dial a telephone number on his calculator and only realised after two attempts!

Frisky club FV40 overtaking weary club MV60 en route to the Barway pump house on Lode End Bridge: “I’ll beat you to the pump!” Whimsical MV60: “that’s because it’s not a beer pump!”

Tall club  FV35 told a club MV60 about how she would use a guinea pig for her sports therapy course assessment. He pondered at this and said: “aren’t they a bit small?” FV35: “Actually, I’m using my mother!”

A Fen born founder member was asked by an Ely Standard sports reporter why he enjoyed running. He thought for a while and replied: “to look at the horizon and know that I can run there”.

Chinese lady serving in Ely chip shop to club MV60: “I like dragons.” The MV60 replied: “There’s dragons in Wales but none in England” to which another customer said: “Cos there is – I’ve got one at home!”

Helpful club MV55 to busy receptionist at Paradise Sports Centre: “Someone’s left a squash ball.” Nearby club MV60: “I know the feeling!”

Club MV70 (who travels a lot and still becoming familiar with his computer) to club MV60: “I thought if I turned the computer off I wouldn’t get any emails whilst I was away!”

Frequently injured club MV55 descending Water Board Hill: “Not sure if I’ve got my support bandage on the right knee?” Trailing club MV60 ”That’s the trouble when you’ve got two of anything!”

Email from MV60 replying to MV35 after tough race: “… not yet stiff (too slow!) apart from my neck, due to dosing in the car (Mrs driving) on the way back”. Panicking MV60 later explained that he’d meant to type “… due to dozing in the car…”

Apparently there is a loyal long-term Club MV60 member who is always pleased to see ‘ER’ on the post boxes when he runs around Ely.

Club MV50 confessed to asking his wife, many years ago, if he could have her bed in the hospital after she’d given birth, because he’d “had a few too many” before visiting!

Club MV65 watching club MV45 putting on mud encrusted (from XC season) spikes at club’s 1 Mile Handicap race: “is there anything growing in them?” Bright young club MV35 “yes, shoe trees!”